few steps forwards and a few steps back.

So a few steps forwards and a few steps back. That is considered a tango, isn't it? Well, I wish I could sit out this dance. It's more trying , painful and emotional than even I had imagined. But how do you foresee these things? You cant... so you just go with the flow.  Wednesday night they removed the NG Tube. I was so grateful they did. I was hoping thursday was uphill but the gas pain and distention in my belly was beoyond my contol. My pain meds were changed to manage it and I was given an enema and stool softner to aide in getting my first bowel movement. There was some measure of success but not enough to count as a step forward. I have been taking the morphine and adavan to keep me sane and lull me into a needed sleep. I covet all of your messages and keep them close. The only visitors I have are immediate family and even 2 nights this week I would not let Steve bring the kids to see me. They shouldn't have to watch their mother go through this and then expect to have sweet dreams. I am praying for that light at the end of the tunnel to show itself soon. I am in very good hands at the hospital. These nurses are another regime in my Army of Angels. The sun is out today.  I have grape jello for lunch. And I am alive. Thank you God!